Deficit Reduction Party

My Dear Friends,

For those of us who have too much time on our hands, the computer age has given us something from which we gain knowledge, a new means of communication and also something with which we can do silly things.

Through my long established website, www.ThoughtsForToday.net, I have been able to send out (usually) weekly proverbs, suggestions and hopefully some humor. I probably get more enjoyment out of this column than my readers, but, it is a way of occupying time and a means of expression through cyber communication.

Bumper Sticker Last year I “toyed” with the AL HOFFMAN FOR PRESIDENT theme, again, nothing more than a tongue-in-cheek attempt at humor, while at the same time trying to get a few pertinent points across. Hopefully it will not offend anyone, it is not meant to criticize anyone, just an attempt at introducing a little light humor into my friends daily lives.

I have mailed close to 600 Bumper stickers this year. These stickers are desirable since when removed, they leave no residue. You would be, as am I, surprised at how many states these stickers presently are showing up. If nothing else it provokes the question, “who the hell is Al Hoffman?”

To add more to this provocative Mishigas ( Craziness), we have developed a little website thru which I will be able to send out newsletters and updates. I do ask that you read my platform , the essence of this entire effort. There is of course some ridiculous things stipulated in this platform, but, there are also some messages that deserve your thinking. Certainly the name of our alleged party, THE DEFICIT REDUCTION PARTY is in itself, something we would all like to see come to pass.

I hope you find some humor in this campaign and if you have any ideas, please feel free to contact us.

Gratefully yours,

Al Hoffman
Presidential Aspirant

Special Bulletin: The Kitchen is now in place

The DRP is pleased to announce that when we have taken possession of the White House, a radical change will take place in our dining area.

The famous CHEFS ON THE RUN will take over the duties and they promise to offer unique and excellent cuisine, be it for heads of State, foreign dignitaries or the White House Staff.

In addition they will strategically place vending machines throughout the White House, in Corridors, Laundry rooms, just about everywhere. One will be able to buy pizza slices, cold beverages, wraps and a great deal more.

We recognize the fact that there is a great deal of work involved in supplying these vending machines. Credit cards or cash will be accepted and if the prices seem a bit high, say as an example, $3.00 for a can of diet coke, it is to offset the labor involved in refilling the machines. (Ten percent of the proceeds will revert to my checking account)

This highly regarded team of Chefs Extraordinaire, Fred Hoffman and Gary Zitin will also oversee serving, protocol and will split tips with the servers.
All guests, regardless of who they may be will be asked in a very tactful manner to leave a tip worthy of the food and service.

I am certain you share my delight in having this important position filled by so competent a team.

aL Hoffman
The next President

I Just added it up

If we added all the money being spent by the various candidates on both sides of the aisle in an effort to get elected, and we added to that the money spent for the war in Iraq, there would be no deficit.

That is why the Deficit Reduction Party is the only sensible way to go and I am the one who believes he can lead this party to victory, rebuild Americas' image throughout the world and negotiate peace with those who today are considered rogue nations.

I will not pacify, I will negoiate with a firm hand, a proposal for fair settlements of existing disagreements, I will work to bring our troops home, not only from Iraq and Afghanistan but many other nations where we have men and woman deployed, at great expense. All this while reducing the Defict and creating a surplus---while enriching myself.

Vote the DRP party
aL Hoffman
For President

And remember our slogan:

WHO THE HELL IS AL HOFFMAN????

A test posting

This is a test

Our First Poll

My name is Francis Quigley, and among the many duties I have in guiding the campaign for Al Hoffman, our Presidential Aspirant, is to evaluate his standings in the National poll ratings.

Your input is needed NOW! When you respond to this poll, it will be forwarded to the National Pollsters Evaluation Center located in a private island off the Coast of New England where no phones exist and no one can be influenced.

Accordingly, we are asking that you respond by merely answering one of the three following questions by emailing the Bureau of NPEC at LANCEDOC1@AOL.COM. Answer by simply saying "Yes' or "no" following the question, a,b or c. (Example yes--A)

A- No question, Al Hoffman has my vote--- yes or no?

B- I am considering voting for Al Hoffman -but, I probably will-- yes or no?

C- Who is Al Hoffman? -- yes or no?

Please act fast, it is important.

Thank you,
Paco

Going National

Word of our campaign is getting out there and the curious have evidently sparked interest with some of the late night hosts. When we are invited on one of the following shows I am looking for someone to join me.
The following are obviously clamoring for my appearance:
Jay Leno Show, David Letterman, Conan O'Brien and now Bill Maher.
(Which should we accept?)

Getting close to appointing my Cabinet

THE RESPONSE HAS BEEN UNBELIEVABLE!!! THANK YOU, THANK YOU ONE AND ALL.
IT WILL BE DIFFICULT CHOOSING BECAUSE ALL OF YOU WHO SUBMITTED YOUR NAMES ARE SO QUALIFIED---TO STEAL AND ACCEPT BRIBES.